1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,760 2 00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:06,400 3 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:09,200 With my head in a spin 4 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:12,400 to scream and shout 5 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:15,560 6 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:18,480 7 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:26,720 It was such a good show. 8 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:28,920 Lee said it's the best birthday he's had 9 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:30,920 since he wet himself on a bouncy castle. 10 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:33,840 That was a hell of a 50th. 11 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:38,120 Lee was such a huge fan of the Young Ones. 12 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:40,800 Nigel Planer played a sort of hairy loser type 13 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:43,480 with bad posture and terrible cooking skills. 14 00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:46,080 I can't see why Lee identifies with him. 15 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:49,320 And I have one more surprise for Lee. 16 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:50,680 Have you heard of Cameo? 17 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:53,520 It's a website where you get 18 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:55,720 personalised celebrity messages filmed, 19 00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:59,560 and I've paid for one from none other than Nigel Planer himself. 20 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:03,880 Well, maybe he would have preferred sexy underwear, 21 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:05,520 but he's not getting that, is he? 22 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:10,280 Mum, I think that should be kept between you and Dad. 23 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:13,440 I don't care if it was his 80th! 24 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:16,480 Ooh! He's coming back. 25 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:19,360 I've got to send the message. See you soon. Bye. 26 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:22,560 Wow! Even the toilets are posh in here. 27 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,160 They didn't even have urinals. Heh. 28 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,600 Look what I did. 29 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,440 Did they not have any toilets at all? 30 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,160 It's posh soap. 31 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,800 I pumped it out of the dispenser so we can take it home. 32 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,160 I think I'd rather you had peed in a bottle. 33 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,200 Take your opportunities when you get them. 34 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,280 That's what Nigel Planer said onstage tonight. 35 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:44,200 You know, I reckon I could have been a performer. 36 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:45,640 You? 37 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:47,640 Yeah, I was wasted at technical college. 38 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:50,320 Isn't that why they asked you to leave? 39 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:53,440 If anyone in our house should have been in the arts, it was me. 40 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:55,080 You? Yes. 41 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:56,920 Do you remember that creative writing course I did 42 00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:59,200 after we first got married? No. 43 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,120 I did it every Tuesday for six months. 44 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:05,520 I brought you back a Domino's pizza after each class. 45 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:07,720 Oh, that creative writing course. 46 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:09,640 PHONE BUZZES 47 00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:10,680 Hmm. 48 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,040 It's a video message from you. 49 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:15,080 Well, open it. 50 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:18,840 Hi, Lee, Nigel here. 51 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:22,000 The very lovely Lucy tells me it's your birthday. 52 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:25,880 Apparently, you're a big fan of my stuff. 53 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:28,160 Clearly a man of great taste. 54 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:33,480 Lucy also tells me you're a bit of a joker yourself, 55 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:35,200 so I'd better watch my back. 56 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,200 You'll be putting me out of a job. 57 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,680 Seriously though, Lee, happy birthday, 58 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:42,000 and have a great night, mate. 59 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,800 AS NEIL: Oh, wow. 60 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:45,280 Heavy! 61 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:47,920 That was him. 62 00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:50,920 That was a personal message to me from Nigel Planer. 63 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,520 How did you arrange that? 64 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,520 You've obviously met him, cos he knew your name. 65 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:58,200 Well, let's just say I have my connections. 66 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:00,080 I can't believe you've never said. 67 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,240 I was once in the audience for Cheggers Plays Pop 68 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:04,160 and I mention that all the time. 69 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:05,360 I know. 70 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:07,560 Who could forget the first night we made love? 71 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:11,480 It was an unusual comparison, but at least I came out favourably. 72 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:13,840 Come on, how do you know him? Have you got his phone number? 73 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:15,320 Stop asking questions. 74 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,920 If I'd got you underpants, you wouldn't ask where they came from. 75 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:20,720 I would if Nigel Planer was inside them. 76 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:24,120 Wow! Nigel Planer sending me a birthday message. 77 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:25,920 That's even better than... I know. 78 00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:27,640 Being in the audience for Cheggers Plays Pop. 79 00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,960 I was going to say the first night we made love. 80 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:36,080 You have got to be kidding me. 81 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:37,400 What? 82 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:38,800 Oh, as if you don't know. 83 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:42,400 You've invited Nigel Planer to join us for dinner. 84 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,200 No. No, I haven't. 85 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:47,640 Oh, right. It's just a bizarre coincidence, is it? 86 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:49,280 Well, it's not that bizarre, is it? 87 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:52,520 The theatre we've just watched him perform at is right next door. 88 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:55,000 Can I get you something, sir? 89 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,720 Is he in on this? 90 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,280 Oh, I'll have a Nigel Planer for starters, please. 91 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:01,600 Certainly. 92 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,200 And for the main course, perhaps a Mr Bean casserole 93 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:07,560 with Dawn French fries and a side order of Jasper Carrotts? 94 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:11,440 Lee, will you please stop waving? 95 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:13,520 I really haven't arranged for him to join us. 96 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,000 Yeah! 97 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:19,960 All right, you haven't. 98 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:22,960 Just some sugar, please. 99 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:27,640 But we should still go and say hello, right? You've met him. 100 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:30,840 No, don't spoil his dinner. I'm going to say hello. 101 00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:33,080 I'm not going to dip me testicles in his soup. 102 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,600 Which should be fine anyway, cos I don't think he's a vegetarian. 103 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,760 Oh, I should say that to him. He'll laugh. 104 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:41,200 "Dumplings, Nigel?" 105 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,280 Lee, please don't. 106 00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:46,800 Please don't what? Please don't go over to Nigel Planer and say, 107 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:49,080 "If I wanted, I could put my testicles in your soup 108 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,360 "because you're not a vegetarian." 109 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:52,760 I'm not an idiot. 110 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,000 I'll say hello first. 111 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:58,120 We really need to discuss your social media strategy. 112 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:00,880 Ah, it's not really my world, to be honest. 113 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:03,320 It feels like a cesspit of negativity. 114 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:04,560 No. Nonsense. 115 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:06,920 I've never read a single word about you on social media 116 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:08,240 that hasn't been positive. 117 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:11,440 Yeah, but the moment you start engaging like that, 118 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:14,560 all sorts of lunatics think they have access to you. 119 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:15,800 Hello. 120 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,000 How's it going? 121 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,880 Fine, thanks. Er, could we get some water for the table? 122 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:27,120 Yeah, I mean, I'm really not keen on spending, you know, 123 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:30,880 hours every day having to post stuff about walking the dog, 124 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:33,560 or what I'm going to have for dinner that evening. 125 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:36,360 I like my privacy, and I think that that gets compromised 126 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:39,120 when you start telling everyone everything about yourself like that. 127 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:41,440 No, I know, but you wouldn't have to post any personal stuff. 128 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,040 It can just be work-related. 129 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,040 BOTTLE THUDS 130 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:44,360 Oh, thanks. 131 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:46,480 Could we have some olives as well, please? 132 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:47,880 Yeah, like the show you did tonight. 133 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,400 So, you know, that saves you so much of the expense, 134 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,120 and it can only just be the main ones. 135 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:55,120 You can do YouTube... Sorry, um... ..X, or Instagram. 136 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:56,520 I don't actually work here. 137 00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:59,040 Oh. 138 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:00,520 So why did you give us water? 139 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:05,080 You asked for it, and there was some on that table, so I just took it. 140 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:07,200 It's all right, they...they didn't mind. 141 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:12,600 I just thought I should, er... come and say hello. 142 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,840 SING-SONG: Hello. 143 00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:16,720 Hello. 144 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:19,880 It's me - Lee, the birthday boy. 145 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,880 I'm Lucy's husband. 146 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:22,920 Lucy. 147 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:27,920 Lucy. 148 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:31,040 SHOUTS: Lucy! 149 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:34,720 I think she might need some reading glasses. 150 00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:37,280 She's just a bit shy. 151 00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:39,840 Or maybe she just doesn't want to be bothered while she's eating. 152 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:41,240 You know her. 153 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:44,040 Do I? You think she's very lovely. 154 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:45,680 Is he trying to hypnotise me? 155 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:50,440 I'm sorry. Sorry, we've never actually met before. You are? 156 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:53,320 I'm Lee. Nigel sent me a birthday video message. 157 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:54,480 My wife arranged it. 158 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:58,160 Ah, right. I see. 159 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:01,680 Well, thanks for popping by to say hello. 160 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:02,800 And happy birthday. 161 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:04,400 Thank you. 162 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:05,920 Two cream of asparagus soups. 163 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,480 Do you need any water? 164 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,680 It's all right. They've already got some. 165 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,200 They need some. 166 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,480 Hey, Nigel, um, you'll like this. 167 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:19,720 You're not a vegetarian, 168 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,600 so guess what I could put in your soup? 169 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:25,400 Actually, forget it. 170 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:31,440 Well, he was a bit weird. 171 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:34,160 He was weird? You should see the guy he was chatting to. 172 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:37,400 Yeah, he acted like he didn't know who I was. 173 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:40,960 He doesn't know who you are. No, but he knows who you are. 174 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,800 He probably couldn't see you from that distance. 175 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,520 Come back over with me. Oh, for God's sake, Lee! 176 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:48,080 I've never met Nigel Planer, OK? 177 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:50,320 Well, how did you arrange the video message? 178 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,080 Have you heard of Cameo? 179 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:57,520 What? You mean when a woman wears very tight leggings 180 00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:00,400 and you can see her...? That's camel toe! 181 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:01,920 Oh. 182 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:04,920 It's a specialist website. 183 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:06,280 So is camel toe. 184 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:10,080 You pay for celebrities to read personal messages 185 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:11,960 for birthdays and things. 186 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,840 Bloody hell! You could have got me Paul Chuckle? 187 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,320 You've made me look like a right knobhead. 188 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:23,880 I can't take all the credit. 189 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:28,360 Just try and enjoy the rest of the evening with me. 190 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:30,480 I don't mind that you're a right knobhead. 191 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:33,960 The coffee's nice. 192 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:37,000 I chose the special Colombian blend. 193 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,440 A good friend of mine's been here before and recommended it. 194 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,960 Oh, yeah? Who was that? George Clooney? 195 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,640 I mean, you once bought a packet of his Nespresso pods, 196 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:46,960 so that makes you best mates, right? 197 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,200 Next time we see him, remind me to give him a big man hug 198 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:50,600 and squeeze his bum cheeks. 199 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,960 Are you going to let it go or not? 200 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,040 No, I'm sorry, I can't. What are you doing? 201 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,200 I'm going to explain to Nigel Planer what happened. 202 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:04,080 Sit down! No, I'm not having him thinking I'm the kind of person 203 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:06,120 that disturbs him whilst he's eating in a restaurant. 204 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,240 Oh, so you're going to do that by disturbing him 205 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,320 for a second time while he's eating in a restaurant? 206 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:11,560 Have you got a better idea? 207 00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:14,600 Well, I certainly don't have a worse one. 208 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,720 You need to get me off Cameo. 209 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:19,400 I could do without the hassle. 210 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:22,080 Oh, come on. That man was just saying a quick hello. 211 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:24,160 I would hardly say he was hassling you. 212 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:25,560 I'm sorry to hassle you. 213 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:31,960 I...I just wanted to come over and apologise for disturbing you before. 214 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:36,000 See, I thought my wife had actually met you, but she hasn't. 215 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:39,800 She was just trying to impress me because I'm...I'm a big fan. 216 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:42,040 Um, but, you know, a normal fan. 217 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:45,440 Not the kind of, you know, "Kathy Bates in Misery" sort of fan. 218 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:46,960 I'm not going to tie you to a bed 219 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:50,280 and smash both your ankles with a sledgehammer. 220 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,600 But...but it all got very confusing with that video message, 221 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:55,240 and so, yeah, I'm...I'm sorry. 222 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:58,720 Yeah, no, it's...it's all fine. Don't worry about it. 223 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:01,320 In fact, it's quite a funny mix-up, really. 224 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:04,120 Is it? Yes, very amusing. 225 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:05,960 I suppose it is, isn't it? 226 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:08,720 You could use that, if you like, in one of your true stories onstage. 227 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:10,360 I reckon that'd get a big laugh. 228 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,200 Yeah. You know, I might just do that. 229 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:14,960 Really? That's great. 230 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:17,600 I've got loads of stuff like that, you know. 231 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:19,160 All sorts of weird things happen to me. 232 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,600 Gah, the things I could tell you. 233 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:22,920 In fact, I think I will. 234 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:26,280 Did I ever tell you about the time 235 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:29,280 that I stayed at a nudist camp right next door to a wildlife sanctuary? 236 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,440 No, because we've never actually met you before. 237 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:32,960 Look, we don't want to appear rude... 238 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:35,440 Can I get another glass, please? 239 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:37,480 Er, I won't bore you with all the details. 240 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,480 Look, can you not bore us with any of the details? 241 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:40,880 Or, indeed, the rough outline? 242 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:42,680 All right, I'll just cut straight to the punch line. 243 00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:44,040 I'm sure you can fill in the gaps. 244 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:45,520 I said, "Bloody hell, Brenda, 245 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,920 "I hope Brian May doesn't find out what you've done to that badger." 246 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:55,240 OK. Well, thank you for coming over to explain the confusion, 247 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,800 but we really need to carry on with our meeting now. 248 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,000 Right, yes. Sorry. 249 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:04,720 I don't, er...don't want to be one of "those" people. 250 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:11,720 OK. You win. I'm taking you off Cameo. 251 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,680 Did you see that? 252 00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:16,960 I made him laugh. 253 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:18,400 That was a fake laugh. 254 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,600 Er, I think I know when someone's faking it. 255 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:24,720 You never fake it. True. 256 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:27,040 When we're having sex, those laughs are real. 257 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:31,720 He said he might use what I said in his show. 258 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:34,480 That makes me a sort of...comedy writer. 259 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:36,520 You're not a writer. 260 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:38,160 I'm the writer. 261 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:39,840 I was very good on that course. 262 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,000 I reckon I could have made a career out of it. 263 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,280 Well, why didn't you? 264 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:44,960 Four reasons. 265 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,440 Don't you mean three reasons? One for each child. 266 00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:50,280 OK, I get it. 267 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:55,360 Actually, if that story gets a laugh when he tells it, 268 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,160 he might want some more ideas from me. 269 00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:58,840 He needs to know how to contact me. 270 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:00,040 Sit down! 271 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:02,640 Can we get the bill, please? As quickly as possible. 272 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:06,160 Are you sure you don't want to just grab one from someone else's table? 273 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,600 Um... 274 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,160 Actually, before we go, I just need the toilet. 275 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:20,480 You've only just been. 276 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:23,160 I know, but that starter was a bit more liquidy than I thought. 277 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:24,600 Well, that's soup for you. 278 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:28,800 Maybe ask for one with more testicles in it next time. 279 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:38,440 Oh, God. 280 00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:40,040 Oh, dear. 281 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:42,440 I hope it hasn't been too disappointing. 282 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:44,280 Depends if you mean my marriage. 283 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:45,800 That's exactly what I meant. 284 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,160 Hello, Nigel? 285 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:56,520 Is that you? 286 00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,280 It's me - Lee from before. 287 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:04,680 Sorry to bother you again. You must get this a lot. 288 00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:07,160 Actually, no, this is a first. 289 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:10,120 Usually, people just want an autograph. 290 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:11,160 Right. 291 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:14,920 Sorry, you weren't offended I didn't ask for an autograph, were you? 292 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:16,920 No. 293 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:18,760 Are you sure? 294 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:20,280 I'm positive. 295 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:23,000 I think you were, weren't you? 296 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,400 Please may I have your autograph? 297 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:34,480 I'm a bit busy at the moment. 298 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:39,400 Probably a bit old-fashioned anyway. 299 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,000 It's all selfies nowadays. 300 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:46,280 You weren't offended that I didn't ask for a selfie, were you? 301 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:48,960 Would you mind letting me go to the toilet? 302 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,360 CAMERA APP CLICKS 303 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:56,840 Thanks, I'll treasure that. 304 00:13:56,840 --> 00:14:00,320 Oh, good. Please feel free to share it on Instagram. 305 00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:03,280 OK. Don't share it on Instagram! 306 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:08,640 Can I be honest with you, Nigel? I'm not actually using this toilet. 307 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,000 I don't mean I'm doing it all over the floor. 308 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,600 I mean, the real reason I'm in here, it's because... 309 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:17,080 Well, the thing is... 310 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:20,600 Please! I'm just trying to have a pee. 311 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:22,280 A pee? Oh. 312 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:24,280 Thought you were having number twos. 313 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,520 And yet, still he thought it was OK to chat. 314 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:29,320 Are you in there with someone? 315 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:30,560 I can come back. 316 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:33,280 What do you want? 317 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:38,160 Hello? 318 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:43,440 HE GASPS 319 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:44,800 SING-SONG: Hello! 320 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:49,320 This can go one of two ways - 321 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,120 you scream, phone the police, 322 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:54,160 and I end up in prison for being a peeping Tom. 323 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,360 Or... 324 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:58,280 ..a couple of years from now, we're both on the Graham Norton Show 325 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,760 telling a very funny anecdote about how we first met. 326 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:03,160 Your choice, Nigel. 327 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:06,840 It's the first one, isn't it? 328 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,600 TOILET FLUSHES 329 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:18,720 MUTTERS: Oh, for God's sake. 330 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:20,080 HE GASPS 331 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,800 Look... 332 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:26,920 ..I didn't follow you in here for a selfie or an autograph. 333 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:29,920 I want something else. 334 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:35,480 I saw you going to the toilet and I sensed an opportunity, 335 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:37,440 and I wanted to grab it with both hands. 336 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:41,120 I'm happily married. 337 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:42,840 So am I. 338 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:46,920 Well, I'm happy, she's sort of...accepting. 339 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,720 I mean, I wanted to give you my phone number 340 00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:52,680 in case you wanted any more jokes. 341 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:56,600 Tried to squirt but nothing comes out? 342 00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:58,280 I know that feeling. 343 00:15:58,280 --> 00:15:59,760 You can have that one as well. 344 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:03,640 You shouldn't give away your ideas so freely. 345 00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:05,520 People will think they have no value. 346 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:09,600 You know, Nigel, thinking about it, 347 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:13,240 this whole video message mix-up thing - 348 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:16,080 if it's just a funny story you tell on stage, 349 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:18,040 are we not wasting it a bit? 350 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:19,320 "We"?! 351 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:21,160 There is no "we". 352 00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:22,880 Again, that can happen at our age. 353 00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:24,280 Hah! 354 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:26,280 They're just pouring out of me today, 355 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:27,400 which is ironic. 356 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:30,800 The point I'm making is, 357 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:35,680 I wonder if this idea could actually be a TV show. 358 00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:37,320 What idea? 359 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:39,560 You haven't got an idea. 360 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:44,160 All it is is a thing that happened that I politely smiled at, 361 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:47,400 which I am now massively regretting. 362 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,440 All right, it's based on real events. 363 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:52,080 But, you know, all the good stories are. 364 00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:53,520 Two words. 365 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:54,680 Oppen... 366 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:55,920 ..Heimer. 367 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:56,960 Ow! 368 00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:58,800 Look, I'm not interested 369 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:02,680 in your stupid little video mix-up message idea, OK? 370 00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:07,160 It's not even a faintly amusing anecdote, let alone a story. 371 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,280 It has no beginning, no middle, 372 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:12,560 and, most importantly, no end. 373 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:14,400 No end at all. 374 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:18,120 Honestly, it feels like it's never, ever going to end. 375 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,680 Do you understand what I'm saying? 376 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:21,760 Cos I don't think you do, do you? 377 00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:24,400 People like you never do. 378 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:27,920 I mean, I like meeting members of the public who like what I do, 379 00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:29,680 but there's always one, isn't there? 380 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:32,680 There's always one who just doesn't get it, 381 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:35,440 who doesn't realise there are boundaries, you know? 382 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:38,400 Social boundaries, physical boundaries, 383 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,880 toilet cubicle boundaries. 384 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,560 So, please, for the love of God, 385 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:48,640 just do what a normal person would do and say hello, 386 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:51,720 shake my hand, and then leave me alone! 387 00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:55,000 OK. 388 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:02,760 Actually, um... 389 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,240 ..I won't. You haven't washed your... 390 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:05,720 NIGEL SIGHS 391 00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:10,880 I'm sorry, Nigel. I'm a big fan. 392 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:14,960 And I was just sort of doing what you said on stage tonight - 393 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:18,000 grabbing opportunities when they arise. 394 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,680 It was my favourite bit. 395 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:22,400 Well, I quite like the, you know, 396 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:26,440 dirty story about the late lock-in at Wetherspoons with the Krankies. 397 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,480 And the fact that she did it dressed as the little boy 398 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:31,360 just made it even more disturbing. 399 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:35,680 But I don't want to be "one of those people." 400 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:40,040 So I'm really sorry for hassling you. 401 00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:46,320 HE EXHALES HEAVILY 402 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:05,480 I always carry some spare soap - you know, just in case. 403 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,200 In fact, keep it. 404 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:12,240 It's the least I can do 405 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,720 for all the laughs you've given me over the years. 406 00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,520 NIGEL SIGHS HEAVILY 407 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:24,360 Wait. 408 00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:27,360 Yes? 409 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:31,400 Look, I shouldn't have lost my temper just now. 410 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:35,240 I-I'm sorry. But you can't go harassing people in toilets. 411 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:38,720 You're not the first to say it, and you won't be the last. 412 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,920 I was just... I know. Grabbing your opportunity. 413 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:44,480 But there are ways of doing these things properly. 414 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:45,680 How? 415 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:52,640 These are my agent's details. 416 00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:56,000 Write down your idea and email it to her. 417 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,360 Oh, my God. 418 00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:58,800 So this could actually happen? 419 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:01,080 Honestly? Be as honest as you like. 420 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:03,120 In that case, no. 421 00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:05,040 Almost certainly not. 422 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:06,680 I'm doing this purely out of guilt, 423 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,200 not because I'm interested in your idea. 424 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,920 She probably won't send it to me. 425 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,920 And even in the very unlikely event that she does, 426 00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:16,320 I probably won't even read it. 427 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:17,760 That's fine. 428 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:20,520 As far as I'm concerned, you've left that door ajar, 429 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:24,040 which means there's still a chance I can get my foot in that door. 430 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:29,320 Perhaps you should be thinking of that door as shut, 431 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:32,480 and probably locked. 432 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:33,640 Has it got a keyhole? 433 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:35,920 If you like. 434 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,560 Well, there you go. 435 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:40,720 I reckon I could get my foot in that keyhole. 436 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:44,280 Well, not my foot, but maybe something else. 437 00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:50,000 So I think what we should do is we should both go back 438 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,000 to the people who are waiting for us 439 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:55,960 and finish our dinners in peace. 440 00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:57,360 Is that OK? 441 00:20:57,360 --> 00:20:59,400 Say no more. 442 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:01,480 You won't be hearing another word out of me 443 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:02,760 for the rest of the evening. 444 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:05,920 You know what, Nigel? 445 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:05,920 NIGEL GROANS 446 00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:09,040 I don't care what they say about you on social media. 447 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:10,520 You're OK. 448 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:18,520 I presume we now have to get out of here before the police arrive. 449 00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,000 Oh, that depends. 450 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,560 Is writing a TV show a crime? 451 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:23,600 What? 452 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:25,920 He wants me to send my idea to him. 453 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:29,160 What idea? The one I've just told him about. 454 00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:30,600 Guess what's in my pocket? 455 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:35,120 Please don't tell me that was your opening pitch to him in the toilet? 456 00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:37,040 Go on, guess. 457 00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:37,040 SHE SIGHS 458 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:38,600 More soap? 459 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:40,480 A roll of toilet paper? 460 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,360 Or more ambitious this time - a Dyson hand-dryer? 461 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,840 His agent's...details. 462 00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:00,480 Don't worry, Nigel. A deal's a deal. 463 00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:04,200 What deal? 464 00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:05,560 I've just told you. 465 00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:08,760 He wants to hear more about my TV show idea. 466 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:12,000 Because of one quick conversation you had in the toilet? 467 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,120 That doesn't make you a writer. 468 00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:17,120 There's so much more to it than that. Like what? 469 00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:19,680 Like all the things I learned on my creative writing course. 470 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:21,800 Like character, structure... 471 00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:25,760 There was a third one, but I can't remember it now. 472 00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:28,960 If anyone should be establishing contacts 473 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,240 with these sorts of people, it should be me. 474 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:32,920 Well, you will, won't you? 475 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,760 Looks like you'll be having sex with a TV writer tonight. 476 00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:39,920 So, come on, then, out with it. 477 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:42,160 Well, I think we should wait till we get home. 478 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:46,560 I mean your big idea. You haven't even said what it is yet. 479 00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:48,280 Oh, you know what you say. 480 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:50,880 Always write what you know about. 481 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:52,320 That narrows it down a bit. 482 00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:55,000 It's actually this. 483 00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:57,680 What do you mean, "this"? 484 00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:01,560 This. The whole thing that happened to me tonight. 485 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:03,240 That's the idea. 486 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,840 It's about a person who gets a video message from a famous person, 487 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,320 but this person has never heard of Cameo. 488 00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:12,120 So, when he bumps into the famous person in a restaurant, 489 00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:13,960 he sort of thinks they're mates. 490 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:18,320 And then in the toilet, the famous person, at first, gets very angry, 491 00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:21,040 but then realises that the good-looking hero 492 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,840 is actually very charming and extremely likeable, 493 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:26,400 so they decide to make a TV show about it. 494 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:28,560 In fact, it could be a film. 495 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:30,920 I could be played by that young fella. What's his name? 496 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:32,200 Timotei Chalet-Maid. 497 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,200 But none of this was your idea. 498 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:37,320 Yes, it was. 499 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:38,640 No, it wasn't. 500 00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:40,280 It just happened to you. 501 00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:41,880 The idea came from me. 502 00:23:43,120 --> 00:23:44,760 I booked the video message. 503 00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:46,760 I pretended I'd met Nigel Planer. 504 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:48,880 I even arranged the theatre and the dinner 505 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:50,120 which was essential for this mix-up 506 00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:52,160 to have ever happened in the first place. 507 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,600 All you are is a...prop. 508 00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:57,440 What do you mean, a prop? 509 00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:01,640 You know, like a tool or a plank or a dipstick? 510 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,320 Yeah, and if I hadn't have acted like a tool or a plank 511 00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:06,440 or a dipstick, none of this mix-up would've happened. 512 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:07,640 So it's my idea. 513 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:10,640 No, it bloody well is not. Where are you going? 514 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:13,040 To tell Nigel Planer whose idea this really was. 515 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,160 Over the top of the cubicle? 516 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,400 Are you ser...? What is the matter with him? 517 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,760 Don't worry. I dealt with him very firmly. 518 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:24,960 There won't be any more interruptions. 519 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:26,840 Hello. 520 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:28,320 Oh, God, it's the other one. 521 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,000 I'm not interrupting, am I? 522 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,000 Actually, we're in the middle of a private conversation. 523 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,800 Yeah. Are you discussing my idea? 524 00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:40,320 Sorry? The one my husband tried to take credit for. 525 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,600 Well, don't worry, this is all good 526 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:45,520 because you can incorporate that twist into the story. 527 00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:49,560 The wife has the original idea, but the husband steals it 528 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,560 and pitches it to the famous person he meets in the restaurant. 529 00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:55,520 Look, I...I really am going to have to insist you leave us alone now. 530 00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:58,280 Oh, your character will be in it too, of course. 531 00:24:58,280 --> 00:24:59,520 The agent. 532 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:03,000 Cold, emotionless, intimidating. 533 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,560 I'm sorry about this, Nigel. Back off! I know your game! 534 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,000 You see, the wife character, 535 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:13,320 she's probably a little bit overly trusting of the evil husband 536 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:17,040 because she hasn't got a bad bone in her body. 537 00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:20,240 I really think you need to go back to your table now. 538 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:21,560 Of course you do. 539 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:23,880 Because the wife's a threat. 540 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:25,480 She knows what's going on. 541 00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:26,880 Does she? 542 00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:28,200 Oh, yeah. 543 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:31,480 She knows something nefarious happened between her husband 544 00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:33,880 and Nigel Planer in the toilet cubicle. 545 00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,200 The offer of something big, 546 00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:39,520 something that really belonged to the wife. 547 00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:42,240 So the husband shouldn't have been offering it up in the first place, 548 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:43,920 no matter how huge it might get 549 00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:45,760 after Nigel Planer gets his hands on it. 550 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:50,480 Mr Planer, I am so sorry, but I have to ask you, 551 00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:53,440 did you perhaps, in a moment of madness, 552 00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:56,520 commit a small transgression in the lavatory earlier? 553 00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:01,240 I did not have sexual relations with this man in the toilet. 554 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,400 No, no, I...I'm talking about the soap. 555 00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:07,640 It's all gone missing, 556 00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:10,240 and I think perhaps I saw you exit with it in a bottle. 557 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,760 This is Winona Ryder all over again. 558 00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,600 Oh, for...for God's sake. 559 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:22,240 This is Nigel Planer. 560 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:25,520 Do you seriously think he steals soap from public toilets? 561 00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:29,080 And yet she didn't object to the idea I had sex in public toilets. 562 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:36,920 And Nigel Planer stole our water, too! 563 00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:39,960 This is perfect. 564 00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:41,680 This could all go in. 565 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:44,120 Not only did Nigel Planer get up to something dodgy 566 00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:45,840 with the husband in the cubicle... 567 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:46,960 I did not. 568 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:50,000 ..he is also a raving kleptomaniac! 569 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,000 Ha-hang on. Hang on. 570 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:56,160 Is this some sort of an elaborate blackmail plot? 571 00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:58,640 Yes! That is exactly what it is. 572 00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:00,840 The wife blackmails Nigel Planer 573 00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:03,960 over what he got up to in the toilets with the husband. 574 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,560 Right, well, if it is blackmail, it's not going to work 575 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:08,240 because Nigel isn't in the slightest bit worried 576 00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:09,680 about nonsense like this. 577 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:10,800 Isn't he? 578 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:14,720 No, you're right. Of course he wouldn't be. 579 00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:18,080 So, we need to escalate things. 580 00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:21,920 So, we threaten him with a weapon. 581 00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:23,160 We kidnap him. 582 00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:25,240 We strap him to the chair with gaffer tape, 583 00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:28,000 and we hold him hostage until he gives us what we want. 584 00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:34,760 Lucy. Yes? 585 00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:37,240 We need to leave now. 586 00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:40,440 I think you might have just 587 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:44,440 accidentally threatened to blackmail then kidnap Nigel Planer. 588 00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:50,840 Oops. 589 00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:54,080 Anyway... 590 00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:55,120 KNIFE CLATTERS 591 00:27:55,120 --> 00:27:57,440 ..hope you two enjoy your dinner. 592 00:27:57,440 --> 00:27:58,880 We'll leave you in peace. 593 00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:12,440 I mean, this could all be part of the story, you know? 594 00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:15,360 A huge misunderstanding, but all's well at the end. 595 00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:16,760 Just keep walking. 596 00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:20,800 It might at least make a decent half-hour sitcom. 597 00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:25,080 Hi, Nigel? 598 00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:29,720 I'm a big fan, and I just wanted to say hello. 599 00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:34,920 Oh, just BLEEP off. 600 00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,200 601 00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:43,080 602 00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:45,720 with my head in a spin 603 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:48,960 to scream and shout 604 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:51,720 605 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:54,920 606 00:28:54,970 --> 00:28:59,520 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0